I had to wait to start writing till now.
So last night something crazy happened. I was having a dream, kinda like most of mine go. Im always hanging out with people, sometimes im me sometimes not sometimes I know the people sometimes not Then something weird happened, this guy somehow was stuck in the middle of the couch. He wasn’t like a normal person either, right when I looked at him I got really scared and he came out of the couch. Looking back at me with a gaze that felt like he was gonna take my soul or something. Looking back now what I remember it still feels real and I wont forget that face for a while. Ive had scary dreams before they only used to happen when I was a little kid. This was different,something happened and no matter how much someone will tell me that was just a dream I really do feel like it was more. The cool thing that happened was right when I saw that guy and he stood up out of the couch and took a step towards me I woke up. Liz shook me and said, “what was that”? I was shocked because of the dream and what she was asking me felt weird so I said, “what did you say”? Then she told me that I would be ok and everything was fine. I was getting really weirded out by how she was talking to me. I was like what happened what are you saying. Then her mood changed and she was like what are you talking about and she doesn’t remember telling me that stuff. After that we had to stay up for like 40 min because we were both weirded out by it and felt funny.
I feel like she saved me and not just from the dream. After she woke me up I felt like she was watching out for me and saved me, and then once she got woke up and didn’t know what was going on either I felt like she just had came back and her “soul” was talking to me when she was saying I would be alright. Ive had times where I knew what someone was thinking and weird things like that, but Ive never had something like this happen. Im sure ill tell all of you that I know that reads this in person and if any one out there has had something like this happen plz tell me.
Disgusting
How dare these people call themselves Christians. They are planning to PROTEST Heath Ledger’s funeral because he played a homosexual in Brokeback Mountain.
http://www.godhatesfags.com/
This is disgusting, I am so outraged right now. How can anyone who is a Christian say God hates anyone?!?!?
MATTHEW 7:1:
“Judge not, lest ye be judged”
Sorry about this rant, but I am so SICK of people breeding hate. Whether you are Muslim, Christian, Atheist, Buddhist, whatever… hate is NEVER okay.
-Liz
Fun Story
Everyone that can post on this I want to invite to add to this and lets see where it will go. Rules you just post one sentence then you cant post another one until someone else post.
So I walked outside today and noticed a wolf at the bottom of the stairs. Next to the wolf was a big, steaming pile of poop. And then I had an realization, no it was more of an epiphany, it was like seeing the light for the first time in my entire life. I awoke in a cold sweat. I tried to focus my eyes on the clock, finally the blurred red numbers came into view, 3:15AM. A song washed through my head, one that my mother sang to me as a child and it went like this. Mommy’s little baby here you are, tuck you in one .. two .. four, gotta go to sleep now mommy needs a drink. God I hate that bitch. And that is why I killed her.
I still remember the blood on my hands, I was soaked how could it of come to this?
Oh now I remember; it all started when she got a new boyfriend.
HOPE
Hope is the strongest thing that we have. I, like most people wanted to live forever (have an afterlife). This, deep down, is something that I strongly hoped for. The more I thought about this and what happens after death I found that I became more lost. I wanted to search for an answer that could change my life and open my eyes to a reality that I could live in. On my search I wanted to look at both sides, if there was life after death or not.
Thinking there is nothing after death makes one depressed, you really lose hope. On this side the most you could hope for is to be remembered as something great. How long would this memory last for, … a few generations and then you are gone (for most people). Then you could have something after death and be a spirit, have enlightenment (live forever). Looking far enough into the future you will notice that everything will be gone. You have to think on a really big scale lets say you can get reincarnated and there is ghosts all that paranormal stuff out there. After trillions of years we have exhausted all the resources everywhere you could think of and we all start to die off.
Both sides can be great depending if you just chose to look at the positive and not the negative. After realizing this I’ve found that what I’ve always heard was right. The time is now, while you’re reading this, this is your life. Which ever way you believe you are reading this for some reason. You could be lost like me and not know what to decide. The point is it doesn’t matter all these questions don’t matter at all. All you have to be concerned with is your life, thats whats most important to all of us. Look at the beauty in things, they will never be the same again. Live in the moment before it passes you. You can end up old and wishing you did more. We just need to live, once we are at the end we will know the answer to all these questions and at least we will know we made the best of our time here. When I started to try to find myself I wanted to find something great to believe in. What I have found is that the belief doesn’t matter at all. It is about happiness, what makes you happy do it, if you believe its wrong don’t do it. We want things to be so great we forget to look at the simple things and just be happy while were here. This search is over for me. Ill be back later with changes, but for now I’m gonna live.
Dreams
Its 6:32 am and I have just woken up. I had another dream that sent my mind spinning. I am going in so many directions right now. I am trying to shake my self out of the dream state, which after I have a really intense dream takes me a good hour or so. Letting the nicotine course though my system. I have also come to a very interesting realization, DO NOT listen to the Pixies after you have just woke up. Sometimes I feel that the dream world is more real than the real world. I know, this is really cliche, but at least I know that I am no the first person to feel this way.
I normally have two kinds of dreams. “Normal” ones, I guess as normal as dreams come anyways. Ones that I never really remember afterwards. And really intense ones. Dreams that are so vivid, I awake and can’t tell if I have truly woke. This is what I have decided to write about because I just had one and I can’t go back to bed at this point. My intense ones always go two different directions. Love and War. Mostly war. I’ve dreamt about best friends killing me, best friends killing other friends, black hobos sucking my eyes out, multiple dreams about being in what seems like Viet Nam, World War 2 and Desert Storm. I’ve murdered, been murdered and watched people get murdered. If it’s violent, I have had a dream about it. Sometimes I feel that this is “more” than the life I live. It is so wrong to me, but at the same time I know that this is what is right. The feelings of this being more real usually leaves along with the “Dream” state of mind I wake up in. As the course of things go, there are exceptions. And this definitely has it’s exceptions.
The more rare but more welcomed dreams I have are the ones the deal with love. I have only told this to my friend Mike, I have dreams that involve the same person every time. This girl who’s face I never get to remember. When ever I dream about her the dream starts off sort of where the last one I had left off. I just had one tonight and the last one I had about her was at least a year ago. I have read a few spirituality books, and one book referenced this directly. The lady said that in your dreams you return to Heaven and visit your soul mate, who stays in heaven to watch over you. You and your soul mate take turns living on Earth. You never really meet your soul mate until both of you have learned enough to not return to Earth, and this is the reward you get. To spend eternity with your soul mate. Some people believe that dreams are prophetic, others believe that they are your just your brain processing the tons of information received during the day. One interesting thing I have learned, whether its true or not(wikipedia), is that the Pineal Gland is responsible for dreams. The Pineal Gland controls your wake/sleep cycles. It also releases chemicals into your body. Chemicals that make you hallucinate, chemicals that are only released while you are dreaming. Even more interesting is that the Pineal Gland in most lower vertebrate animals have a strong resemblance to the photo receptor cells of the eye. In most of these animals, direct light to the Pineal Gland will completely throw off the animals Circadian Rhythm. Which is 24 hour cycle that your body keeps. Even some early vertebrate skull fossils show a Pineal foramen(an opening). Many people think that this is really our third eye.
I don’t believe any of this really, although I find it all really interesting. I think it is just my subconscious trying to fill for what I either want or need. Every one wants to be loved, thats just human nature. There are somethings in life that every single person has in common and one such thing is the need for other people, to some extent. And for the war thing, I must play to many video games. All those hours of staying up, mindlessly killing blobs and aliens have finally caught up with me.
Mike V.
TIME FOR CHANGE
We all need change in our lives, sometimes that change is hard. This blog is to help my change. I’ve noticed that the only time I’m truly happy or having fun is when I’m with others. Lately, I’ve been spending more time alone and being anti-social. Trying to make that effort just to make a call has been hard. I feel this will help me open up (even if it is to no one) to keep myself from getting into that state of mind. Its funny once I stopped drinking how different I’ve felt. Things come easier to me, learning is becoming fun, I’m more focused, I feel better, and lots more. You really do notice who is there for you and who was just there for the ride, when you make changes like this. If you ever step back and look at your life, you notice things like this. Most of the time though, we chose not to. It can be things you are too shy about, people that you believe are your friends, places that you could be afraid to go alone. Sometimes these things are not what we need but what we want. All I know right now is I need everyone that loves me and I thank you all for being there for me while this change happens. Lets all have fun in 2008 (just found out what my new years resolution is gonna be), you know where I’m at.
Also….Poop and Pee, but more poop than pee.
